Mark your calendar for our Annual Covered Dish Supper and Meeting on Thursday, May 10th from 5:00 – 9:00 p.m. at the Savannah Station… Social hour with music, appetizers and wine, the biggest and best covered dish supper in Savannah and stories from people involved in citizen advocacy relationships. Hope you’ll join us this year!
We are sure looking forward to playwright Nikki Booker’s dramatization of Tom Kohler and Susan Earl’s story of Waddie Welcome and the Beloved Community coming soon to the stage in Cincinnati. Take a look at this short video describing the project. After the debut, a Savannah staging perhaps?
People often ask, “Who becomes a citizen advocate? What do they do?”
Here are seven short stories, gleaned from recent conversations.
Sandy Hopkins, an advocate for less than one year, has been helping his protégé’s family negotiate with the public school system with the hope that their son can soon attend school in his Wilmington Island neighborhood rather than be bussed across town to a completely segregated special education facility.
George Barrow, an advocate for more than two years, is looking for ways to help his protégé become more involved in our community by doing some volunteering, with the hope of this leading to some paying work.
BJ Franklin, an advocate for less than one year, sponsored his protégé Bill to become a member of the local Marine Corps League. Bill’s father, now deceased, was active and proud military. Bill grew up with this ethos as well. This is a nice way for Bill, who is new to Savannah and living with his sister, to begin to make friends here in Savannah.
Katie Hoover, an advocate for more than three years, spent part of her day recently by taking her young protege to the dentist and then out for a little reward for being good.
Phil Peterman, an advocate for four years, has provided his protégé with a laptop and software to compose music. A hobby and passion that could grow into more.
Angie Johnson, an advocate for more than 16 years, has been helping her protégé by finding a tutor for her young son, something that his mom is not able to do.
Sherry Erskine, an advocate for more than 32 years, made sure that her protégé’s stay in a local nursing home after a hospitalization was temporary, rather than permanent or fatal. Sherry had the good help of her daughter Kate Rea and good friend Dawn Peil, during this time.
Who becomes a citizen advocate?
In these stories, we have a stockbroker, an engineer, a web-marketing optimizer, a pension planner, an educator, a homemaker and a music maker. Two of these folks own their own businesses. Three work in local businesses. Two have retired, after balancing children and career for many years.
What do citizen advocates do?
Each offers himself or herself as someone who is open and available to be helpful as a fellow Savannahian.
Each looks for ways that they can make a good difference and they notice how being involved helps them see and feel things differently.
Many are using their personal connections in Savannah to create opportunities for their protégé. Savannah is a “who you know town.” This is how a lot of things get done.
Many are offering what looks like good old fashioned neighboring, practical help with getting something done.
Many are helping people get connected to the good things that Savannah has to offer all of us.
Many are helping people escape having to live a separate and segregated life. The code word is “special” and decoded it means segregated.
We are happy to announce that Savannah native Robin Gunn has joined our staff as Associate Coordinator. She joins Tom Kohler in inviting and encouraging people to become citizen advocates. Robin is a self-described “optimistic realist” who is passionate about Savannah’s remarkable people, history and culture. Robin also knows that not everyone in Savannah is invited and encouraged to enjoy, contribute to and participate in the good things that Savannah has to offer.
Professionally, Robin has been a freelance writer, publicist and project coordinator since 2003. She is acquainted with a broad array of people in Savannah from many different places and points of view, including community and church life, and her employment with the Ossabaw Island Foundation and the City of Savannah and her ownership of Hannah Banana Books in the early 2000s.
So our small staff of two is now three, and you will see an increase in citizen advocacy matches in the coming year.
Tom Kohler asked several long time citizen advocates and several proteges matched with citizen advocates in Savannah to share their insights with some folks newly involved…
What does it feel like to be an advocate? What would you want prospective advocates, or people very newly involved to hear?
“You really don’t know very much about what you are supposed to be doing. The stakes can be high, the issues you are negotiating and speaking to are new to you. I was simply scared of not doing the right thing.”
“I was not trusted. The man I met had been let down so many times, in so many ways and for almost his whole life. I felt fearful of failing by letting him down again. I also was looking too far down the road at first, trying to figure out more than I could, or even should. I had three basic feelings: fear, confusion and confidence. Confidence that I knew enough people, knew how to do things, and that the man I’d met and I had enough in common that something reasonable would work out.”
“In the beginning, I felt resented by my protégé’s family. Life and lifestyle for everyone had become predictable. Now I’m listening to my protégé who has a new dream, and both the dream and me are now being resented by his family.”
“At first my intellect was in charge. Then my emotions took over and I knew there was no going back. I also began to go step by step on the issues my protégé faced, which helped me feel less overwhelmed. I also began to realize and acknowledge the positive changes in my own life that were coming from this. The idea of receiving and giving became so real.”
“I remember getting scared. I became more serious when I learned about the realities of how strong some people’s biases and prejudices were and of how so many of my protégé’s life experiences matched the discussions about the wounds of devalued people I was having with the staff.”
“At first I focused on an issue, a task. As we waited for that to be resolved, we began to feel the relationship part grow. Seeing a movie together, the sharing of meals also became important.”
“My protégé and I really began to share emotions. His hurts really began to become my hurts, his victories mine. He began to experience my life in the same way. How I was doing was important to him.”
“Overtime, I’d say that I’ve gone from thinking the tasks at hand are the most important and now feel like it’s the person and the relationship that matter the most. It helps to listen to what the person is saying, often taking their direction and breaking it down into action steps.”
What does it feel like to have a citizen advocate?
“I was wondering how we could connect. Here’s this business man from a different world than I live in. I was wondering, ‘What is right to expect, to hope for? Am I asking too much? Where’s the limit? I don’t want to cross the line.’ I’ve had what I call traditional relationships that come through family and church. I’ve been struck by the clear feeling that my advocate is on my side, rather than someone who is always assessing my position and second-guessing my point of view. The intentionality, the clarity of the advocate’s willingness, makes it easier to ask for help. I hate asking for help.”
“Being asked to tell my whole life story to the coordinator was great. Piecing it together, editing it, and getting it right so that the prospective advocate would hear it clearly helped me feel more confident.”
“It’s commonalities, not disability, that this is built around. Everyone else is interested in my disabilities – not my life, not me. There was lots of communication back and forth before the first meeting and that helped me feel like I knew something about the advocate and he knew something about me before we met. At the first meeting I felt sincerity.”