Chatham-Savannah Citizen Advocacy

Keeping the social in social change

The Citizen Blog...

Category archives for Reflections from Tom »

Who becomes a Citizen Advocate? What do they do?

 

People often ask, “Who becomes a citizen advocate? What do they do?” 

 

Here are seven short stories, gleaned from recent conversations.

 

Sandy Hopkins, an advocate for less than one year, has been helping his protégé’s family negotiate with the public school system with the hope that their son can soon attend school in his Wilmington Island neighborhood rather than be bussed across town to a completely segregated special education facility.

 

George Barrow, an advocate for more than two years, is looking for ways to help his protégé become more involved in our community by doing some volunteering, with the hope of this leading to some paying work.

 

BJ Franklin, an advocate for less than one year, sponsored his protégé Bill to become a member of the local Marine Corps League. Bill’s father, now deceased, was active and proud military. Bill grew up with this ethos as well. This is a nice way for Bill, who is new to Savannah and living with his sister, to begin to make friends here in Savannah.

 

Katie Hoover, an advocate for more than three years, spent part of her day recently by taking her young protege to the dentist and then out for a little reward for being good.

 

Phil Peterman, an advocate for four years, has provided his protégé with a laptop and software to compose music. A hobby and passion that could grow into more.

 

Angie Johnson, an advocate for more than 16 years, has been helping her protégé by finding a tutor for her  young son, something that his mom is not able to do.

 

Sherry Erskine, an advocate for more than 32 years, made sure that her protégé’s stay in a local nursing home after a hospitalization was temporary, rather than permanent or fatal. Sherry had the good help of her daughter Kate Rea and good friend Dawn Peil, during this time.

 

Who becomes a citizen advocate? 

 

In these stories, we have a stockbroker, an engineer, a web-marketing optimizer, a pension planner, an educator, a homemaker and a music maker. Two of these folks own their own businesses. Three work in local businesses. Two have retired, after balancing children and career for many years.

 

What do citizen advocates do?

 

Each offers himself or herself as someone who is open and available to be helpful as a fellow Savannahian.

 

Each looks for ways that they can make a good difference and they notice how being involved helps them see and feel things differently.

 

Many are using their personal connections in Savannah to create opportunities for their protégé. Savannah is a “who you know town.” This is how a lot of things get done.

 

Many are offering what looks like good old fashioned neighboring, practical help with getting something done.

 

Many are helping people get connected to the good things that Savannah has to offer all of us.

 

Many are helping people escape having to live a separate and segregated life. The code word is “special” and decoded it means segregated.

 

What’s it like to be a citizen advocate? What’s it like to have a citizen advocate?

Tom Kohler asked several long time citizen advocates and several proteges matched with citizen advocates in Savannah to share their insights with some folks newly involved…

 

What does it feel like to be an advocate? What would you want prospective advocates, or people very newly involved to hear?

 

“You really don’t know very much about what you are supposed to be doing. The stakes can be high, the issues you are negotiating and speaking to are new to you. I was simply scared of not doing the right thing.”

 

“I was not trusted. The man I met had been let down so many times, in so many ways and for almost his whole life. I felt fearful of failing by letting him down again. I also was looking too far down the road at first, trying to figure out more than I could, or even should. I had three basic feelings: fear, confusion and confidence. Confidence that I knew enough people, knew how to do things, and that the man I’d met and I had enough in common that something reasonable would work out.”

 

“In the beginning, I felt resented by my protégé’s family. Life and lifestyle for everyone had become predictable. Now I’m listening to my protégé who has a new dream, and both the dream and me are now being resented by his family.”

 

“At first my intellect was in charge. Then my emotions took over and I knew there was no going back. I also began to go step by step on the issues my protégé faced, which helped me feel less overwhelmed. I also began to realize and acknowledge the positive changes in my own life that were coming from this. The idea of receiving and giving became so real.”

 

“I remember getting scared. I became more serious when I learned about the realities of how strong some people’s biases and prejudices were and of how so many of my protégé’s life experiences matched the discussions about the wounds of devalued people I was having with the staff.”

 

“At first I focused on an issue, a task. As we waited for that to be resolved, we began to feel the relationship part grow. Seeing a movie together, the sharing of meals also became important.”

 

“My protégé and I really began to share emotions. His hurts really began to become my hurts, his victories mine. He began to experience my life in the same way. How I was doing was important to him.”

 

“Overtime, I’d say that I’ve gone from thinking the tasks at hand are the most important and now feel like it’s the person and the relationship that matter the most. It helps to listen to what the person is saying, often taking their direction and breaking it down into action steps.”

 

What does it feel like to have a citizen advocate?

 

“I was wondering how we could connect. Here’s this business man from a different world than I live in. I was wondering, ‘What is right to expect, to hope for? Am I asking too much? Where’s the limit? I don’t want to cross the line.’ I’ve had what I call traditional relationships that come through family and church. I’ve been struck by the clear feeling that my advocate is on my side, rather than someone who is always assessing my position and second-guessing my point of view. The intentionality, the clarity of the advocate’s willingness, makes it easier to ask for help. I hate asking for help.”

 

“Being asked to tell my whole life story to the coordinator was great. Piecing it together, editing it, and getting it right so that the prospective advocate would hear it clearly helped me feel more confident.”

 

“It’s commonalities, not disability, that this is built around. Everyone else is interested in my disabilities – not my life, not me. There was lots of communication back and forth before the first meeting and that helped me feel like I knew something about the advocate and he knew something about me before we met. At the first meeting I felt sincerity.”

The Citizen Advocate: Spring 2011 News

Chatham-Savannah Citizen Advocacy is a 32 year old Savannah-based non profit that recruits, matches and offers support to over 125 local citizens who engage in one-to-one citizen advocate matches to offer protection from neglect and harm and advocacy for inclusion and better civic and social opportunities for citizens with developmental disabilities in our community.

 

Citizen Advocacy is built upon freely given voluntary relationships between the two people and advocates are invited to understand, represent and respond to that person’s interests as if they were
the advocate’s own.

 

Listening to Citizen Advocates…

 

I had a quick coffee with citizen advocate Chris Middleton. Chris is an attorney here in Savannah and his days start early. He and a man named Rick Black* have been matched for a year this month so it was a good time to catch up on some of what’s been going on. Rick lives
in a group home here in Savannah.

 

“Rick and I did some hanging out this weekend. He came over to my house and we washed my car together and ate lunch together.” There is nothing more ordinary and manly than men and cars. This is how trust is built.

 

People find ways to spend time together, get to know one another and gradually come to care about
each other and what happens to one other. This is the ground from which spokesmanship and action grow.

 

****************************************************************************

 

I ran into citizen advocate Richard Lane at Barfood in the Habersham Shopping Center. He and his protégé Denise* had been at the mall the previous evening shopping for Denise – new shoes, new outfit.

 

“I really don’t spend much time in the women’s section at Stein Mart, but there we were, with me offering my humble opinion about women’s fashion.” A few minutes later three of Richard’s friends came in to meet him. Two of them have heard about Denise through Richard. I was sort of a “rock star” since I was the “introducer” between Denise and Richard.

 

I introduced Richard to Denise several months ago because Denise needed a Representative Payee. Richard accepted and he now helps Denise manage her monthly finances. He also helps Denise with some errands and shopping. This sort of neighborliness is something that can happen naturally between people. It’s the sort of thing that sometimes needs a little encouraging as well.

 

Denise is a change agent. She changes people’s ideas about who is supposed to know and care about
whom. This is going to be one of the “big stories” in the culture over the next decade or so. Richard and Denise are prophets as they help people around them see neighborliness in action.

 

****************************************************************************

 

Citizen advocate Jane Fishman recently told a lovely story about spending time with her protégé Natalie* and Natalie’s mother. They all spent the day in Natalie’s neighborhood walking around, pushing Natalie’s wheelchair, looking at people’s gardens, talking about who
people in the neighborhood are. Just taking the time to be together and see good things all around.

 

Jane was invited to meet Natalie at a time when various human service agencies were pushing for her to be removed from her family, a time when no one was valuing the complexity of family life. None of the people who were pushing this had spent much, if any time, at Natalie and her mom’s house.

 

A citizen advocate takes the time to be with people, to see what is going on in a person’s life first hand. This is true of Jane, who is beginning to “feel like family.” This match is deepening
and becoming a relationship that can offer enjoyment to everyone and protection to Natalie.

 

*Names have been changed to honor privacy

Looking forward to Springtime…

As we welcome Springtime in Savannah, let’s revisit the purpose we share under the banner of Chatham-Savannah Citizen Advocacy.

 

Our shared purpose is to provide protection to and advocacy for people who are marginalized because of prejudice toward disability. We bring people who would not ordinarily meet into meaningful relationship with one another. We have done this for more than 30 years using a model called Citizen Advocacy.

 

We do this so that people who live isolated lives, lives that are only witnessed by paid staff persons, or sometimes by no person, will have someone who is voluntarily and intentionally in their corner.

 

We do this so that people who live big busy lives can be in solidarity with someone whose life looks different on the outside, with the hope that they will discover that they share many of the same hopes, dreams and needs on the inside, inside their souls. We call this “identification”  – when the advocate identifies with the life and the soul of the other person.

 

We do this as a way to encourage both people to be the most they can be as human beings.

 

This is an idea that can have great strength and fragility. It is an idea that becomes real as people find ways to be together, working on practical matters as well as finding ways to share pleasure and enjoyment.

 

As an organization, we have to try and be curious about ourselves. It is easy to fall into unconscious busyness, missing the chance to refresh, reframe and reestablish our passion.

 

As we enjoy the renewal of Springtime, let’s all work together to ask important questions, create useful ideas, celebrate good news and make meaning out of all that comes our way.

WWBC in Cincinnati… guest blog by Dave Murley

As part of the Waddie Welcome Martin Luther King Jr. Day Worldwide Read, groups of people have been reading the story together in each other’s homes, churches, community centers and coffee shops. Here is a reflection from a coffee shop reading in Cincinnati.

 

“I would walk away a changed man…” — Dave Murley

 

Several weeks ago, April and I attended a book reading at the Coffee Emporium in Cincinnati. We ventured out on Martin Luther King Day to downtown Cincinnati and found this huge establishment crammed full of people wanting….coffee. About 20 of us were there to read out loud a book called Waddie Welcome and the Beloved Community. I stood in line, grabbed a large cup of coffee and dragged a chair over to join the group. Little did I know I would walk away a different person inspired by a man with a disability from Savannah, Georgia.

 

Waddie (yes that is his name), was an African-American man who was born with cerebral palsy and was taken care of his family until he was 70 years old. When his parents died he was placed in a nursing home. The story is about how a community came together to help Waddie get out of that nursing home and into a real home again. Waddie could only communicate with yes and no answers, but because people took the time to listen to him they discovered that he did not want to be in the nursing home. He wanted to live in a house that had children and he could smell home cooking. This became a reality with the help of dedicated people from the community who acted as advocates for Waddie.

 

I volunteered to read around Chapter 9 not knowing that I was going to have to read his very long, touching eulogy. Let’s just say it’s a little hard to read while you are crying and sniffing at the same time. This book is so powerful because it shows you the importance of having our kids with disabilities surrounded by a community of people who care and will take the time to help.

 

We all think about what will happen to our children when we aren’t around any more. If you have the opportunity to attend a reading or read the book yourself, do it! It will give you hope and much to think about. Truly a life changing book.