More of… Less of…

This is a really simple way to think about focusing on and creating good change for a person whose label of disability has hidden their role as a contributing local citizen. Don’t confuse simple with easy. Be prepared to work hard toward real change.


  1. Spend some time thinking about what makes for “a good life” and make as long of a list as you can in 10 minutes. Don’t over think it. Use plain language. The word “friends” says more than “peer relationships.”
  2. Go back over the list and highlight a few points that you feel are the most important.
  3. Describe your life in each of these areas. Using friends as an example, spend some time thinking about your friendship life.
  4. Describe the life of the person you are an advocate on behalf of. What does your protégé’s friendship life look like?
  5. Do this process with each part of your “good life” list.
  6. Begin comparing what you notice about your life with what you notice about your protégé’s life. You might notice,“I have dozens and dozens of people listed. My protégé has 3 people.”
  7. Step back and simply say, “What would I want to see more of/ less of in my protégé’s life?” Make a list of 3 key ideas.
  8. Ask yourself, “What are my first steps to begin to create more ____ and less ____ in my protégé’s life.
  9. Do the same for yourself.
  10. Invite someone you both know and trust to meet with both of you once a month for a year. At this meeting ask, “What have we done to see more of what we want and less of want we don’t? What can we do next month to work in this direction?”
  11. Keep track of what you are doing. Who are you involving? What questions are you asking? What are you learning? Notice good things that you had not expected – surprising positives.
  12. Celebrate good change and honor real effort even if it does not create the change you had hoped for.
  13. Keep focusing on what you want to see more of/less of and try another way to get there.

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